...

well, brother, I'll be out of your hair in a week and a half. Then I'll never ever bother you again. I won't want to. I'll erase any evidence that I was ever here.

I need to get a job and move into my own place and then none of these problems will exist. Sure, I will have other problems, but at least I won't have someone telling me what to do.

happy december, first snow

Happy December! I'm a couple of days late here but I said it to people on December 1st, so there.

Lots of things have happened lately, I feel like, but I can't remember much of it, and for no particular reason. I resurrected my iPod from the depths of hard drive failure hell on Friday, but the second the batteries wore down and I plugged it back in to charge, it was corrupted again. :( I have no portable music player. Hell if I'm getting another freaking iPod. There's got to be a kind that isn't rendered useless within two years.

This weekend was full of excitement, mostly revolving around the JLPT (which is not really exciting though). I went to another bridal salon Saturday morning with Jenny to look at wedding dresses, and then I went with her to meet Zach and a potential candidate for their wedding photographer. We went to a café called The Globe, and it was a really nice, relaxing place. I sat at a table by myself to study while they talked at another table. The table I used was right in the window and it was oval shaped with a really old blue map peeling off the top. It was awesome. I overheard bits and pieces of other people's conversations about snow, and when it actually did snow this guy yelled "IT'S SNOWING!!!!!!" and he ran outside with about six or seven other people, and they were jumping up and down and dancing. (Snow is a rare sight here.)

Sunday I got up and tried to be as relaxed as I could, and took my test. People came from as far away as Florida and Ohio. The test itself was not as horrible as I'd imagined, but it WAS hard, especially the reading section because they don't give you a whole lot of time. I spent too much time on the reading comprehension questions and ended up getting rushed for about half of the long-passage questions and the grammar part. Kanji and vocabulary was what I had studied the most for because those are the hardest things for me to remember, and I was surprised to find things on there that I actually knew. Listening really threw me for a loop. All in all, I really can't say if I passed. I'm borderline if I did, but I'm really just not sure at all. If I failed, I guess there's nothing else to do but take it again, but I'll still be disappointed. The test took place on the University of Washington campus in Seattle, where a teacher of mine from the Japanese department spent his undergrad years. It's a really pretty campus, and it was slightly inspiring being there and knowing this is where he started studying what I am effectively finishing up here. ^^

Zach took me out to The Duchess (it reminded me a lot of State Street Brats but it wasn't as dark inside) for a beer after he picked me up and we talked for a bit, and then we went home and I helped Jenny with dinner. We rented a couple of movies too.

I'm actually kind of excited to go home. The hardest thing is probably going to be quitting my job because I don't like making people unhappy. I was not lying when I had my interview and saying that I was planning to be here until Christmas Eve because that's what my plans were at that time. My plans have changed. Other than that it shouldn't be so bad. I get to plan the Christmas gift exchange for my family and I'm starting to get lists~ it's great. And I get to meet Cooper. He seems like such a little shit, but he'll be cute anyway.

the office, the british and work

Before, when I was still living with my old roommate, I used to associate The Office with being boring, lazy and not knowing how to clean things properly because she and her boyfriend would rent it and watch it together. However, after finding out that my brother and Jenny love it, my dad started watching the show and I was downstairs listening to them while I did other things. Then the one thing that pulls me into anything more than any other appeared and I began to watch it. Mostly, I watch it wondering how the office romances will turn out, and the little hints that are dropped here and there are fun to look for. When something major happens it's almost shocking just because you're used to such small hints, and when it's not what you wanted, you feel disappointed. It's like real life, but you see the relationship from all angles, or are given tiny hints as to what might be happening. The fun is in keeping you guessing.

The show is also very funny. Not everything in it is funny to me, but I think if you got a LOT of people watching it at once, there would be constant laughing. I like the pranks on Dwight the most but all of the characters have their funny side.

The UK version obviously has a different sort of humor to it, and unfortunately I don't know what in British comedy is supposed to be so funny. Maybe I need to watch more than the first episode of the British version to see, but the first episode was not that funny...

But British people are awesome, in particular the friend from work that my brother and Jenny took me to hang out with yesterday night who just moved back to the UK. Not all of their friends are so easy to talk with, but he was for some reason. And I like hearing him talk with his accent and all ^^ He came back to the house and we all hung out for a while. Oscar couldn't understand the guy when he gave commands in his normal accent but when he modified it to sound as American as he could (which was hilarious XD) Oscar understood. it was cute.

I also worked on Friday, Black Friday. The mall was packed, but the candy store was not that busy, and I was working with three other ladies most of the time, so we weren't overwhelmed when it did get a little busy. I also learned to gift wrap boxes properly, which I was worried about, but wrapping boxes (as opposed to other shapes) is not hard and having the paper pre-cut is nice. Mostly I was tearing plain white paper off already-packed boxes and rewrapping with red and gold Christmas paper to make it look festive, but I did wrap some customers' boxes that day. I feel a lot more comfortable doing the job than I did the previous time I worked, although I can still be awkward talking with customers. The other ladies working there are really nice about helping me when I don't know what to do or can't find something and that helps a lot ^^

I'm going to study for the JLPT again. I'm still pretty worried about vocabulary and kanji. I can read characters and words correctly most of the time, but hell if I know what they mean. If they ask about readings of words, awesome, but if they ask what word means the same as another one I'm sort of screwed. I'm starting to feel better about grammar since getting my awesome book to study from (which I KNOW I will use even after I'm done with the test. it suspiciously looks like my grammar lessons at Nanzan sometimes) and after reading through the chapters carefully, I usually ace the practice exercises. It's the kind of thing where if I get exposed to it and spend a little time with it, I can usually guess correctly at its usage if I see it again, even though I don't know exactly what it means. With any luck, this will all balance out to above 70% average and I will get my certification...

heart mark

men in love are really something.

thank you

Lots of people this year think about what they're thankful for, and I'm no different. add me to the pile. in fact, I'm happy about probably the same thing a lot of other people are. but they don't know the people I know, so it's still special.

I'm not as stubborn or motivated as I used to be, and I'm working on getting that back because I feel like part of me is gone without it. That nagging feeling that says you should get up and do something? That's been gone for so long. I have wasted a lot of time.

I have a big family and I already know that all of us have lots of different interests but I have also learned (especially since coming to live with someone who is not my family, not yet anyway, but knows it well) that all of us have a similar vein. I found that it's much stronger than I thought. They care. a lot. more than their job, in some cases. We're just not that vocal. I take my family saying nothing to mean that they don't really care that much, and that they do things for me or say nice things because they feel like they have to and not necessarily because they want to help me or make me feel good.

In fact, I don't really even believe a whole lot of people when they say nice things, but when they offer criticism, I take it straight to heart. How did I get so messed up? I think I've surrounded myself with the kind of people where a great many of them mean what they say, or they wouldn't say it...and yet I deflect pretty much everything but the criticism they give me.

I'm happy that I have so many people who are willing to support me even if I'm being difficult, or don't completely believe what they say about me. Without them I would be in a cardboard box on the street. I'm glad for the friends I have that don't give up on me when I'm being stupid. There are more people looking out for me and interested in knowing how I'm doing than I thought there were. they are all people that are important to me.

if I can ever return the favor, let me know.

in terms of the holiday feast, I am excited. Jenny is brining the turkey (basically soaking it in a mixture of salt water and spices for a whole day) and making most of the food, and it will be different from my mom's, so I'll get to try some new things! I made a pumpkin pie a couple of hours ago, and squash soup yesterday (it's so thick it turned out more like pudding...), but that will probably be the extent of my cooking because she wants to do it herself. Zach is happy as long as he gets food. We'll make him peel potatoes or something. :D

for all the lost Japanese majors

I spent last Friday compiling a list of headhunting/recruiting/consulting companies that deal specifically with people who speak Japanese. It's geared kind of toward what I want (a job in the United States) but there are some that recruit for companies in Japan and the UK as well. If this list is of any use to anyone I will be happy. I learned a lot just making it.

===================
Bremar Staffing Professionals http://www.bremar.com/ (USA)
Executive Resource Group http://www.jobschicago.com/ (Chicago area, IL, USA)
GaijinPot http://www.gaijinpot.com/job_search.php (Japan, some China/Taiwan/Hong Kong and Korea)
Interesse International, Inc. http://www.iiicareer.com/index.php (USA, Europe & Japan)
Kimata Personnel & Consulting http://www.kimata.com/ (Midwest US & Japan)
MAX Consulting Group http://www.maxjob.com/ (USA & Japan)
MRJapanese http://www.mrjapanese.com/ (USA)
O-hayo Sensei http://www.ohayosensei.com/index.html (English teaching in Japan)
Pacific Advisory Service http://www.paschgo.com/en/home/default.aspx (Midwest US & Japan)
Pacific Bridge http://www.pacificbridge.com/index.asp (Asia)
Q-Jin http://www.q-jin.com/ (USA, mostly Midwest)
Staff Service http://www.people-first.co.uk/staffservice/ (UK)
Teruko Weinberg Inc. http://www.twinc.com/ (USA)
TOP HR Professionals http://www.top-us.com/ (USA & Japan)
WIN Advisory Group http://www.winadvisorygroup.com/AllJobs.html (USA)



DIRECTORY OF RECRUITERS
http://www.i-recruit.com/index.html

NONTEACHING JOBS IN JAPAN
http://jguide.stanford.edu/site/employment_in_japan_238.html

lately things are looking cloudy

Friday morning I felt sick, so I didn't go to work because you're not supposed to work at a food service job if you've got a highly communicable disease...and I talked to my mom and she seems to be all for having me back home. I've been debating moving back to Wisconsin lately. She IS right about me having an opportunity to learn to drive again if I move home, and I wouldn't be putting so much stress on my brother and Jenny because they seem to feel like they have to parent me (and believe me, they aren't willing to be parents now). I just feel really intrusive here, I guess. Zach thinks maybe it's just that Jenny can sometimes get irritated with complications of having to share her personal space with another person, but it's not because she hates having me around. I get like that too, so I understand it, but it doesn't make me feel any better about it. Plus I'd be close enough to most of my family and friends, and my favorite person of all.

I can't think of much that I absolutely want to stay here for. I'm not finding the job situation to be any better, frankly. The public transportation certainly is much better, though, and I do like helping with the home improvement projects that happen every so often. Sure, I work at See's now, but that job ends on Christmas Eve, and I'm not getting that many hours as it is (but I DID just start...as Christmas gets closer I know I'll work more), plus it's been really stressful because of putting all my new knowledge to use, and it's a fast paced customer oriented job where I have to actively sell things, which is not a strong point of mine.

I think I just did things in the wrong order. If I came out here already having a job I'd be fine, but I was lazy. I was lazy the whole time I was in Appleton. I think it's finally gotten to the point where I actually WANT to get a job. Unfortunately it's taken a lot of people getting angry with me for that to happen.

But if I do move back, it's not because I've been defeated. I just need to go where I have the best opportunities, especially since I have so little money, and I found out this is not really the place. I would not be adverse to moving back here if I found a good job here further down the line.

And this past five weeks or so has been good life experience for me in terms of getting a customer service/retail job (completely new type of work to me) and learning what you can and can't make people do for you. I've grown up a bit, I think. Above all, I learned that I need to have a plan before I drop myself into a completely new place, or I will get nothing done. It especially helps if someone else is helping structure your plans (ex. school or a job) so you have something originally to keep you motivated day to day, and you just go on adding from there.

Lastly, I gave this no mention before and I should have because it's made me very happy all week. Ty was planning this surprise for me for a while and had a whole bunch of people in on it - Steve included. yes. He read 'Ominameshi', a Noh play about a woman whose husband cheats on her and she jumps into a river and drowns herself. The flower that grows on her grave becomes a symbol of promising to grow old together because she was faithful to him to the end. He read the part about the flower and decided he wanted to get it for me. He found the original text for the passage and that's what is written in the white bubble in the middle of the poster. He made the poster on the right under Molly's direction and with the art department's materials (muhahaha), and with Steve's help found the English name for the flower in the play (patrinia/golden lace), and got me two plants. I put them in pots and they seem to be looking less droopy than when I first got them. The leaves are still rotting in some places, though :( I hope they survive. The picture at the top is what the flowers look like.

Only two weeks until the JLPT...have to get cracking.

NHK Radio Online

I'm going to try to listen to this often, mostly because I don't understand Japanese news programs at all when I see them on TV except for the images and the headlines at the bottom of the screen (basically anything that moves slowly enough for me to read, or anything I can easily see). With this, it's basically just the audio track of the daily news (although there are other programs, hopefully music ones ^^), so it's interesting to figure out exactly how much I understand. I COULD just put it in English, but then it's not studying anymore...

chopping bamboo

At the moment I've had too little to eat and too much to drink for the day, so pardon my typos.

I suppose I ought to start with what happened since my last post. I really made my brother angry and I felt horrible about it. Not going to go into details. But I have gotten word from him that all is forgiven and the best way to tell him I'm sorry is not to do it again, which is easy enough to do. Just have to plan ahead for things and I'll be fine. Friday went fine, but I didn't do that much except have an interview with a recruiter from a job placement company that specifically deals with Japanese-English bilingual people and she said that Seattle was a really bad place for me to try to be getting my first job. part of me wants to take her advice and be much more open to where I live, but seeing as I've only been here for a month, I think I'll try to give myself more of a chance to find something before I call it quits here. like until May or so. Ty says he wants to at least try to live here. I think once I actually get a job I'll be a lot less stressed. But honestly, I don't care much where I live. Having a job I love to do is the most important thing for me, or at least more important than living in a specific place.

Saturday I went to an orientation and hiring meeting for See's, and I met a man who spent 7 years studying geology at my very same college, which was quite the coincidence since they only hired about 5 new people for seasonal selling. I can foresee plenty of people mixing up mine and Heather's names, judging by how I always get called Heather when people forget exactly what my name is. Joe reminds me a lot of my friend Fred, large and jolly and funny. I feel like I talked a bit too much about myself, but it was just so nice to meet new people, to be perfectly honest. I spent the evening studying for the JLPT while my brother and Jenny organized their office room. All I heard was excited voices, particularly when they found things while unpacking that they forgot they had, but apparently there was a bit of arguing too...

Today was rather nice. It didn't start out that way, though, mostly because I was feeling left out of the plans for the day. They were going to the outlet mall, which is where I wanted to look for rain boots, while I cleaned up the kitchen and washed dishes. It was nice of Jenny to call when she found some rain boots, though, and she picked up a pair for me. As for the boots themselves, I'm still deciding whether I want to keep them. I'm definitely sending back the Hunters, though. I like them a lot, but they're just too expensive, and not lined. The ones Jenny brought back today don't go all the way to my knees, but they cost about half as much, and come lined with sheep's wool. Much better deal if you ask me. I went poking around in the backyard where this wooden table with clay pots is standing (and the clay pots have algae, standing water and slimy crap in them from the previous owners of the house just leaving them there), and found a few cute little pots and washed them. After they came home I found out Jenny wants to keep most of them, just hasn't gotten around to cleaning them up yet.

And then Jenny went grocery shopping while Zach and I went to pick up some caulk (to hopefully stop the ant problem in the kitchen) and an electrical outlet tester. We also got paint samples for the house. Then we plugged up the holes the ants were coming in, and spent the next two hours chopping about 10 square feet of bamboo out of the yard. I wanted to keep a little bit of it, and Jenny was very reluctant to let me, but she said as long as I keep it in a certain size pot and keep it outdoors, she will allow it. yay ^^ I think the situation with the bamboo in their backyard has made them both hate it forever. IT IS SO HARD TO REMOVE, particularly from very confined areas. Zach spent two hours out there with a hatchet, chopping it down and then digging out the root balls with a shovel (then throwing it on the deck) while I cut/broke it into manageable pieces and packed it into the yard waste bin. If you ever want to have bamboo in your yard, THINK AGAIN. Or just keep it in a pot.

I planted three stalks of the bamboo in a pot, and we're all happy that that's all that's left. I also transplanted a plant that Jenny's best friend gave to her. She gave it to them because it blooms in October, and that's when Zach and Jenny's wedding is :) Turns out it's a camellia bush! Camellias are so pretty. I'll have to see exactly what kind it is, because they can be red, white or pink, and can have two major types of flowers. I hope it's the kind that look like roses. In any case, it'll look better than the bamboo when they plant it. XD

Tomorrow I go to get my food handler's permit! I'm going to the earliest morning class (8:30) because I figure there will be less people than at 11:00 and 2:30. I also have to get the missing parts of my work uniform. Maybe I can find them downtown? I'm going to the market again tomorrow too, to get more persimmons. kaki 柿. I love them. They're kind of like peaches, but even better.

konbini life

the owner of Konbini Life posts curiosities from Japanese convenience stores that he bought and tried. I must say that I visited convenience stores nearly every day of the 9 months I was there, and product connoisseurship was an entertaining hobby, if a slightly expensive one. But if I was already buying a snack anyway, I guess it wasn't that bad.
Maybe that's why I gained 10 pounds while I was there ^^;;

I've been thinking a lot about the JLPT lately, and the more I see practice questions and data from previous level 1 exams, the more nervous I get. Apparently there's about a 25% pass rate, meaning that only about 25% of people that take it in any given year receive a passing grade. You only have to get 70% to pass...so are most people that take it just kind of dumb and unprepared, or is the test just really, really hard? I guess all I can do is make sure I'm prepared. The sample questions on the kanji/vocabulary look pretty difficult, so maybe I'll start with those.

On the job front, I had an interview at See's yesterday that seemed to go pretty well, and the lady will let me know by Wednesday if they've decided to hire me. I kind of hope they do. A chocolate shop would be a nice happy place to work, even if only until Christmas Eve.

Christmas.
I know one thing I want, and I hope I can have it.

I also was in touch with a job recruiter today for people who can speak Japanese and they want to set up a phone interview for this week. Thank god it's not a face-to-face meeting yet because I still need to hem up the pants for my suit and get the thing dry cleaned. And I'm not good at interviews. :) Surprisingly, though, for the two I've been to this past week, I've been fairly calm once I get to where I need to be. And lately I feel like I'm not as bad on the phone as I thought I was. I just hope these things transfer to looking for a permanent job.

pounding the pavement

Looking for jobs, that is. It's a full time job in itself. I've been doing it most of the week. I've applied to numerous places and asked countless times at more if they're hiring. I think I'm getting pretty good at it. Unfortunately I seem to have missed the new wave of hiring (college students start school in September and they're all looking for jobs), but I've found a couple of promising-sounding leads (knock on wood). I'm thinking of cancelling my interview with See's though, because I would have to work pretty much every day until Christmas Eve (I have a plane trip back home on the 18th...and seasonal hires are generally not allowed to have long vacations around the very busiest time of year), and the interview is at such a weird time (3:45 PM on a Sunday) and I have plans tomorrow. Yay outlet mall. I guess I'll have to skip going to visit the new baby at my brother's friend's house. However, the job pays VERY well for here (over $10/hr), they'll train me, it's a candy store~, and you get to wear a cute uniform. I just hope that if I get a job there (or anywhere else for that matter), I won't be working with grouchy-looking old ladies. The ladies weren't actually that grouchy, they're just not that approachable.

I need some wellies (rain boots) badly. They're going to be my rubber limousines, my car for the winter, because Seattle is so damn wet and rainy during the winter and I have no money for a real car. I bought myself a VERY high-quality pair of Hunter wellies, but unfortunately I don't think I can afford to spend $100 on a single pair of shoes right now, so I'll probably send them back. Maybe they'll have some decent ones at the outlet mall. Apparently j.crew sells some, and they have a store at the outlet mall, so if I can find some ones that are just as nice and don't cost quite that much, I'll be really happy. I think I've decided on red ones, because they look nice with a navy blue coat, but we'll see.

that's really about it for now. My sisters are getting ready for Halloween partying, as are my other friends who are still in college. Just don't do anything too stupid, guys, and have fun. :) Me? I'm staying in tonight with Oscar while my brother and future sister-in-law go on a date. I'm handing out candy this year to little kids on the real Halloween (Wednesday), and wearing my Goth-Loli outfit from my Japanese presentation in May, but with my own boots instead of Sarah's and a witch hat instead of the rose headdress. It's my first time in the handing-out side of the holiday rather than the collecting and having fun side. But I think it will still be fun.

Pretty soon we're going to have some new furniture in the house :) Zach is buying some furniture from some ridiculously wealthy coworker of his that doesn't want it anymore. He's bringing it in a U-haul in less than an hour. Speaking of the house, I still need to take pictures.

and lastly, I am back on Skype, so look for me :)

shut down.

I don't like to feel stupid for wasting time. I already know I have. But don't drill it into me. I'm the type of person that will shut down rather than lash out at someone who upsets me, so you'd do well not to make me feel bad about something you want to talk to me about. I will not talk. As if that weren't enough, here I am all alone. I have nobody here. and I don't really enjoy the dog's company. He doesn't make me feel happy. He doesn't seem to like me a whole lot lately either.

so I will shut down.
and be alone.
and not talk.
no one's here to listen right now anyway.

Base Ball Bearの「愛してる」

This song has been stuck in my head ALL DAY. I watched the PV (it has subtitles!) and I must say it's the most awesome song I've heard in a while. It's iffy as to whether it's REALLY a happy song or not, but it certainly sounds happy enough. The video is probably the most entertaining Japanese music video I've ever seen. It's funny because they take off their coats...then start singing "I love you..." and nonchalantly taking their clothes off. The irony of it is that it's not dirty. I laughed. Especially when the drummer unzips his pants...to reveal a flesh colored pair of pants. Horinouchi is such a tease. :P

Another thing I really like about it is that Shiori sings more than the backup vocals! Surprise solo :D She also smiles toward the end of the video, something she really doesn't do much. And the English at the very end was also hilarious. I think the subtitles are on the original video, but if I'm wrong, and a fan did the ones on there, they did all right.

As for the Japanese lyrics, I felt like typing them out, so here they are. The real ones that come out with the single (which comes out on Halloween, 10/31, in a week and a half or so) may look slightly different. I JUST FOUND OUT THE SINGLE WILL HAVE KARAOKE ON IT. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :D
not to mention a "Shiori Rockets version". Maybe she sings more in it? :)
I may just buy this single.

==============================
愛してる / Base Ball Bear

初めての「愛してる」で　君はちょっと悲しい目をしていた
喜んでくれると思っていたのに　隙間風が吹いた　そんな気さえもしたんだ
漠然とプレゼントみたいに思っていた　男の子な発想とは yeah

愛してる（愛してる）　愛してる（愛してる）
君を間違いはないはず　君と歩んでいきたいはず
愛してるはず

３度目の「愛してる」で　君は僕を嫌いになったと告げた
本当なんだと繰り返す僕は　何かが違うような　そんな気がしていたんだ
親友と焼酎で広げる恋愛論理　フューチャーもアンサーもないや　ないや

愛してる　愛してる　愛してる
君を間違いはないはず　君と歩んでいきたいはず
愛してるはず

その言葉を口にするたびに　愛が逃げてく気がする
愛は形のないものだから　似ているものを　そう　僕の心あげる

愛してる　愛してる
愛してる（愛してる）　愛してる（愛してる）
愛してる　yeah

愛してる（愛してる）　愛してる（愛してる）
愛してる　君を間違いはないはず　君と歩んでいきたいはず
愛してるはず　はず・・・多分・・・はず

==============================

In other news, Mother Nature is unleashing her wrath onto the Northwest...it's been pouring rain one minute and hailing the next, windy as hell, and it's even poured while the sun was shining. But no rainbow. She's not happy. Stupid ocean. AND the foundation of the house is leaking water into the basement, as Jenny found out when she came home for lunch and went downstairs to get something to eat. JOY.

We're going out for dinner tonight! Yay for Thai food. :) I want something with coconut milk in it. Ty is having a birthday party of sorts tonight and I hope he has fun. I was going to hook up the camera in here and call to the party, but I need my brother's password to do it, and I don't think he'd give that to me. damn. oh well. I miss my friends back home, that's all.

wind storm

There's supposed to be a wind storm tonight due to high-speed winds coming off the ocean. The wind has been blowing hard for a couple of days now. Oscar doesn't really understand the concept of wind - he can see things moving and hear the blowing sound and feel the air swirling around him but he still hasn't put it all together, so he's concerned and barking a lot more than he has been. It reminds me of the typhoon in Nagoya but without the rain. My host mom and I went somewhere a few days after I'd gotten there, and it was extremely windy, and she said to watch out for things falling from the sky. We tried not to go anywhere during the typhoon if we could help it. Last year the wind storms that blew through Washington took out a lot of visitor center stuff and ruined trails on Mt. Rainier, and a lot of the city's power was out, some people's for up to a week. They're taking precautions this time to reduce damage. Thankfully my brother's house doesn't have any huge trees in the yard. I've been told to charge my phone now just in case.

I had a dream last night that I think I've dreamed before. It was strangely familiar. Since I have pretty much nothing else to do, I'm going to see if I can't write a story or draw a picture or do something creative. I miss doing those kinds of things.

well, I was right about the dog

Oscar, that is. Sure, he can be a little annoying sometimes (particularly when he just barks and whines at cats and people and things he sees or thinks he sees from the front door) and he does leave around a lot more hair than I thought (I should talk...), but for the most part he's just fine to have around, and provides entertainment. Plus, I feel good helping take care of him. :)

I haven't heard too much about my parents' new puppy yet, but my dad took some pictures of him yesterday and he is still the cutest little thing I've ever seen. Too bad they can't agree on a name for him, though. I got to hear some funny puppy stories about Oscar, like the time they took him over to one of Zach's friend's houses when he was about 16 weeks old (about a month older than the one in the picture), and Oscar was persistently trying all night to get their friend's Bernese mountain dog (who was about 10 times the size of him) to play, and she just wasn't having it. Then finally, she bounded, all 80 pounds of her, over to where Oscar stood and let out this thundering playful bark, and Oscar shrank down into their carpet...and peed himself. Kind of a weird story, but still very funny.

I woke up to my phone ringing this morning (and earlier to my brother coming in and out and rummaging in the ONE closet in the house for his nice clothes, and to a dream that ended with my failed attempt to commit suicide and realizing I didn't really want to die anyway, and another strange dream I can't quite remember). I got to talk to a nice man who called me Heidi-san and is attempting to get me a job. I never actually spoke with a recruiter before, but I like to think it'll get me somewhere. I spent the next few hours throwing together a cover letter. My original plan today was to go to Uwajimaya Village and Kinokuniya and look for the JLPT grammar prep book, but it's already getting to be late afternoon and I just kind of wanted to bum around there for a while, but not spend too much money. I guess with my security deposit money coming soon (I got the joint check in the mail from Di-chan yesterday) I can afford a little something, like あんぱん or nice ingredients for a good Japanese meal...but I still think I should save my pennies until after I have some income. Maybe I'll take some pictures of the house and around the neighborhood or go for a walk instead (but I'll probably save that because Jenny is coming home early, and Oscar hasn't gotten to go outside today). There's still that tree that fell down and blocked the road. And the invisible roundabouts that people just barrel straight through anyway. XD not to mention the fall colors are beautiful in this neighborhood.

It's settled. Picture time.

ハッピーバースデー to マイボーイフレンド. ユーアーマイラブだよ。
I wish I could be there, but what I sent will have to do. And I already gave you my present :)

puppy!

Since the breeder they'd been planning to buy from was being a big jerk, my parents decided to look elsewhere to get a puppy. They sent some pictures from a place to my brother today, who forwarded them to me, and they were all extremely cute. My mom called soon after to say that she and my dad were going to visit the place and have a look at the puppies, who are currently 12 weeks old.

Then she called about an hour ago, saying that they'd stayed for four hours at the breeder's place...and were driving home with a puppy this very minute. He looks like this.

ISN'T HE CUTE??!???!?! ^*^
I like the spots on his back. Gives him a bit of character. :) I wonder if he was posed that way for the picture or if he really lays down like that? Mom said he ran right up to them when they got there and was extremely friendly, and that at the moment they were driving in the car with him, and he was laying on his back in her lap (which is a very good sign, because dogs have to feel VERY safe with you before they'll lie with their belly up when you're around). Apparently the breeder has two little daughters and a 9-month-old baby, and they've handled him so much that he's pretty well socialized for his age and has no fear of being around people.

We need to think of a name for him! any suggestions? :D

i made it

I'm at my brother's house and just unpacked my things this morning. As may be expected from Seattle, it is raining, or at least it was. It looks nice enough to go explore the neighborhood now. I forgot a toothbrush, so my mission for the day is to go and buy one.

I woke up to Oscar licking my face at 6:30 AM today (which isn't as bad as it sounds since my alarm at my parents' house rang at 8:30 most mornings and at any given time it's two hours earlier here than there). As much as I thought living with a dog was going to be a little annoying, Oscar is extremely well trained, doesn't leave TOO much dog hair on things, and I think as long as I understand how to help take care of him, we'll get along great. Zach and Jenny are at work now and I decided to give this computer a try. (it's on the floor in a closet for the time being. they're getting a new computer soon.) So far things are going fine, and they're nice and encouraging. I just hope that feeling kind of continues as I'm here longer. What I want to do the most is be able to help them get all these home improvement/maintenance projects done, and they said it would help the most if I helped keep them on top of daily cleaning and such so that they have time to think about the bigger stuff. Maybe I could even gather some information for them later today :) I don't know if it'll help at all, but I can try. I really don't have that much else to do besides look for a job, and let's face it, nobody could look ALL DAY nonstop for a job. I feel motivated, though, seeing higher prices for just about everything. I'm going to run out of money sooner than I think, I just know it. o_o;;

My last source of income, the security deposit check my bumbling idiot landlord sent to the freakin apartment I just moved out of, is finally on its way, but with one more catch: it was made out in both mine and my old roommate's names, so we BOTH have to sign it, which wouldn't be a problem, except now we're living across the country from each other. Thankfully, though, I get almost all of it back so I'll have a few hundred more dollars. yay.

I was thinking, despite the unglamorous sound of it, I think I'd like to work at a grocery store. I'd be near food but not necessarily have to do too much with it, and I can definitely run a cash register. There are a lot of restaurants in this area, so maybe I could work at those places too. My biggest concern with a job is that I'm able to get there easily. I would just love it if I got a job where I could walk to work...and not have to work too late at night so that I wouldn't be walking home in the dark by myself.

time to go on Operation Toothbrush. until next time.

happy weekend

That it was, because I got to see some of my favorite people in the whole world, and got to spend some nice time with my boyfriend. My mother had a nursing seminar that her work paid for her to go to in Madison, and my dad and I tagged along with her. Ty and I got them to come out to dinner at the Glass Nickel for pizza and he was there waiting for us, with some orange and yellow lilies for me ^^ we had a good dinner and then went to my mom and dad's hotel, and went swimming in the pool for a bit. the hottub was not hot :( but it was nice. They played POLKA MUSIC, of all things to play in a pool. I guess when they say adult swim they meant actual old people...not that I don't like polka.

After swimming I went home with Ty and we had a cake and presents. It was his pre-birthday party, but there were presents for me too because I'm moving away. I sewed him a blanket to cover his bed (blue on one side and green on the other) which sounds kind of weird for a birthday present, but I wanted to make him something and he doesn't wear jewelry or use purses so he gets a blanket. He really seemed to like it, though. :) He gave me a sticker from the Peelander Z concert he went to last weekend, and a webcam so we can have video chats! Plus I can talk with all my other friends around the world now too ^^

Saturday was quite the eventful day, though it started off very slowly. It was HOT outside for October. We went to the farmer's market and picked up the homemade berry jam Chinatsu says is so good (I haven't actually tried it yet though) and cheese curds to give to my brother and Jenny (but I forgot the cheese at Ty's house >_<), and ran some errands, then went back to his apartment and started watching a movie when Bill pops in. I had not seen Bill in a LONG time so it was nice. He left a while later, and then we had to meet behind the Red Gym to help with Trevor's marriage proposal. Trevor wanted Ty to write him a love song for his girlfriend earlier this week, and Trevor didn't say what exactly it was for until after the whole song was recorded. It came as a surprise to pretty much everyone because he's only really been dating her for 7-8 months. O_O His plan was to take her on a walk, and every few blocks one of Trevor's friends was going to be standing there with a gift for her, and ended where we were all standing, and we all sung her the song and at the end he took out the ring and asked her to marry him. All I can say is thank god she said yes, because we were really not sure what to do had she said no. ^^;; I later had my own farewell dinner with most of those people that had been singing, plus a bunch of friends I had invited, which was a LOT of fun :) Most of us went out to the karaoke bar afterward and joined up with another friend that was having his birthday party that night, and we sang together and just had a lot of fun.

Today we woke up and cooked breakfast, packed up my things and Dave came to visit because he didn't make it to the dinner last night but still wanted to say goodbye. ^^ The drive back home was really nice. I'm going to miss seeing the green fields and red barns of rural Wisconsin, to be completely honest. I don't live on a farm and wouldn't like to, but I love to look at them from the road. I wonder what Washington's countryside will look like, besides having mountains. Thankfully my sister didn't have to go back to Eau Claire until 5 PM so I was able to see her before she left. She came back home for our old high school's homecoming. I don't know if she went to the football game, but I know she saw a lot of her friends. Ty stayed to help me set up my webcam and for dinner, and then we had to say goodbye. I hate doing that. but soon we won't have to anymore, I hope. and we can see each other's faces when we talk now.

Time to keep packing up my room...

mochi mochi mochi

I made zenzai (also called oshiruko) for breakfast today with some toasted mochi in it. Since I'm moving soon and my parents certainly aren't going to cook with the Japanese ingredients I bought (and the ones my host mother bought me before I left for kusa-mochi are already past their consume-by date...) I decided to use up the mochiko and open bag of azuki beans. It wasn't quite as good as I remember, but it was still delicious. The picture on the left is of just the mochi. I'm not very good at making it, but today's was better than previous attempts, and unusual in the sense that I had to mix the mochi flour with an equal amount of sugar. Mochi normally isn't sweet. But this stuff was, and with the mildly sweet soup it went in, it was pretty good. Rolling the mochi into little balls made me think of New Year's Eve at my host family's house. We had about 15 times the amount I made today, and I invited a friend over and we rolled mochi into balls with my sisters Sayoko and Sayuri for about half an hour...then we all ate mochi with toppings on it until we were stuffed, because fresh is the absolute best way to eat it. :) Then we had zenzai for breakfast about four days in a row after the new year because we had so much mochi to eat up before it got too hard and gross. I didn't mind because I liked it so much. XD

shopping

Operation Get a Suit. that's what today's mission was.

I called my brother to ask if I could catch a ride to the mall with him because he works there, and he said he was on his lunch break now and could come to get me in half an hour. yippee :) Four and a half hours of trying crap on got me my new suit. I got two suits, actually :D but one is very inappropriate for work because it's a swimsuit. (and I'm very proud of my swimsuit find. I was in desperate need of a new one, a cute one, and it decided to present itself in just the right size, a nice color (royal blue) and style, and on super awesome clearance for $8.50~~~ the color is brighter in person than in this picture.)

I had no idea that women's skirt suits are considered more formal than a pantsuit! I thought it was the other way around, and I was disappointed because I like skirts so much. yay skirts! ^^ I think I should go back and buy one...if I can get one that fits. Even petite sizes are too long a lot of the time :( Yay JCPenney for having all their suits on sale though :) I should go back there this week while their things are still decently priced.

also, I learned something interesting. For women, they have three kinds of sizes: petite (for smaller women), misses (for average sized women), and ...women's sizes. I wondered what the heck was going on, because aren't petite and misses clothes for women too?? Then I started looking at the clothes and sizes and I realized that 'women's sizes' actually means 'sizes for large women'. I guess there's really no nice way to say that someone is big, but that's just a little too misleading. Plus it inherently suggests that small and average sized ladies are not 'women'. blah.

I'm ready.

emotionally ready to go to Seattle, that is. Living with my parents is all fine and good for a while, but I have come to the conclusion that they really don't communicate what they expect from me very well at all. Take yesterday's conversation with my mother. I come downstairs after waking up and getting ready for the day, get the mail, and the first thing my mom asks me is why I didn't wash the dishes. Was I asked to do them? no. She then proceeds to tell me I need to help her out more around the house, and that she has a job and I don't so I should do some more cleaning around here. When I'm confronted in that way and I don't know what to say I revert to dealing with anger how I did as a teenager but holding as much back as I can. Normally I just want to walk away, which pisses her off even more and she assumes I'm avoiding the situation. I'm just trying to keep myself from doing something childish. Unfortunately, walking away is not seen as the adult thing to do in her eyes and she tells me I need to grow up and act like an adult. Usually when I'm alone with the other person's concerns, I can process them objectively, separate them from the anger and come back to talk to them calmly about it. Problem? it takes time. especially when you just throw them at me without sitting me down LIKE AN ADULT and tell me that these things are a concern.

Guess what, mom. If you don't TELL me that's what you want, how am I supposed to know? I'll throw a little quote back at you from when I was a kid: "I'm not a mind reader."

She deals with things like this at work in the same way, just keeps her mouth shut but does she EVER let out her concerns to people who have nothing to do with it. I guess I learned to deal with my problems that way too.

At least where I'm going in a couple of weeks, the people I'm staying with are laying out their expectations for me straightaway before I even get there. I have yet to know what those are, but I'm going to call them over the weekend (when they have time to talk) so that I can know. I'm starting to become more and more thankful and excited.

I think I get this way every time I'm about to move somewhere else: you get really really anxious to leave and move on, and an unfortunate side effect is that you can get really annoyed with the people you're sharing your current place with. Only one exception comes to mind: leaving my host family in Japan. I don't know if they felt the same, but I almost burst into tears after I shook my okaasan and obaachan's hands and walked through airport security.

There are no obese old people.

I've heard all evidence pointing to this, but having it put this way really made me think about it. just something I was thinking about.

I went to visit my grandma and grandpa this past weekend and go to my aunt and uncle's 25th wedding anniversary. Seeing my grandparents and some of my mom's siblings was really fun, but the party was basically all people I didn't know except for a large handful of relatives, and most of the people there were just getting really drunk off shitty beer and acting like idiots. I got pretty good at giving a brief explanation of what was happening to me now and how old I was, and when I told some of them what I studied in school I just got so annoyed sometimes. I guess it's because they tell you what they think they know about Japanese but most people in northern WI haven't the foggiest idea (i.e. Ty's chimmy-chong story). Somehow the term 'Orientals' really pisses me off too (I like 'Asians' better), and that's what they call them (along with most people over 40 who aren't interested in foreign countries, probably leftovers from World War II). I mean I can't blame them, but if they're not even going to be respectful about it or listen to me explain after THEY ask me about it, they should keep their mouths shut. Luckily not all of them were like that, just a few.

It's really interesting, the way you come to see your relatives after you grow up. When you're a kid they're just kind of there while you play with your cousins (at least they were for me; I had so many I didn't get to know them all very well and I only saw them a few days per year), but when you grow up you notice much more what kind of a person they are, and I think I'm more objective and judgmental toward them, which I feel is a bit unfortunate. I feel like losing that innocent attitude is me being unkind, that high-and-mighty-college-educated attitude. Then again, maybe they were that way all along and I just never noticed. It could also be that we just don't know each other well and don't really need to.

Today I went apple picking and running errands with my mom since she had the day off from work. It was hot for picking apples -_-;; We also got five apples on our tree in the backyard! but the birds and the squirrels ate big chunks out of three of them :( so we have two good ones.

exercise time. :)

ぴたテン (Pita-ten)

Finally I've finished both the anime and manga. I'm not sure if manga to anime series conversion is usually like books turned into movies, where generally the book is better than the movie, but I liked the manga MUCH better. The anime was dumbed down quite a bit, leaving out most of the relationship complexities (actually that's what I love most about watching and reading things ^^;; love relationships, and how people get into them) and the entirety of Misha's past. Also, the end was kind of a cop-out...I mean come on, when people disappear in the manga, it's very emotional (due to the relationship complexities) and then they DON'T COME BACK. In the anime the reasons for characters having to go are kind of arbitrary and sudden...and everyone comes back and lives happily ever after in the end anyway. In addition, I felt the anime was much more focused on Misha and Shia, where the manga sticks basically to Kotarou the whole time. (That must be why I always found the manga in the boys' section at Book-Off ^^) Cute girls can sell anything...especially anime.

As far as characters go!
FAVORITE: Koboshi, Sasha, Misha, Nyaa, Ten-chan, Kotarou
My favorites before I read or watched anything were Koboshi and Sasha. Koboshi's role in the anime is basically to squawk at Misha and get pissy, although she has her clever side and she gets her time in the spotlight. But even after her relationship to Kotarou is validated she goes right back to her old self. I like her manga version tons better, especially the way she faces her problems and how things end up for her. I liked Sasha's increased role in the anime and how much more part of the story she seemed to be there, but I still like her either way. ^^ The manga version of Misha shows she has a lot more depth, and despite how annoying she is at first, you really get to like her by the end. and Nyaa! I HATED the cat for the longest time, but the end of the anime really made me change my mind about it. even devil kitties have hearts.

OK: Shia
She doesn't really bring THAT much to the anime at all, although in the manga she's a LOT more important to the story and she's not necessarily the 100% frail, timid girl. She actually does mean shit sometimes. Plus Ten-chan loves her AND ACTUALLY SAYS SO. And when she goes, she goes.

LEAST FAVORITE: Dai-chan, Kaoru
These two basically just scream every time they pop in and are really freaking annoying. They aren't a very pivotal part of the manga either, as far as I remember (I read it over a year ago). I have nothing else to say about them. That's how much attention I paid to them.

So definitely MANGA > ANIME due to the psychological depth, plot, romance and angst of it all. Don't watch it, read it!

cleaning spree

Since it's Saturday and any job hunting I do can't really continue until Monday, I think I'm going to attempt to clean up the house a bit, or at least finish sorting through all the stuff I moved home and make sure my floor is clean. My mom sort of keeps hinting that she'd like me to vacuum the house, so maybe I'll do that. Then I won't feel bad about making her take me interview clothes-shopping :)

Sarah is going to Japan on the 21st, and I'd really like to give her a present. I have some ideas, but I need to sit down and figure out exactly what would be good. We're also probably going to Madison next weekend. If she still hasn't had a Fishbowl I think we should go and get one :) I was curious myself. Maybe go to Maharani too, if we go Friday and get there before the lunch buffet is over :D

I finally finished and got a letter to Kisa all ready to send! I should hop on my bike quick and get it to the mailbox...pickup is in 50 minutes and I missed the pickup at my house >_<;; Otherwise it won't go out until Monday. I miss Kisa ;_; but now Sarah can see her and tell me how she's doing because they'll both be living in Yokohama now~

but that also means Sarah will be very far away ;_; I'll miss her. a lot. I have to find a job soon so I can start making new friends...because being alone really sucks after a few days. Maybe I won't be so lonely after my parents come home...

all right, time to get dressed and take a bike/walk, and then organize my things :)

melon pan, being happy for friends

the past few days have been fairly productive, considering what I'd done the first few days of my 'vacation'. I got my resume online and had a call this morning already, which is pretty exciting, but it doesn't seem like they're going to be that helpful in finding me a job. I have no experience in engineering or finance, and people with those degrees that can also speak Japanese practically have companies banging down their doors. Meanwhile, I'm going to apply for things I may not be that interested in but I would at least be able to do and use Japanese at the same time.

Part of me still thinks I should live in Japan and work for a while, just to get my speaking skills honed again. And now that Sarah actually got a job (as an English teacher, but at a nice-sounding private school in the area she really wants to live and work) it actually feels viable. She called me this morning with the news, and I'm very happy for her! ^^ She wants to go to Madison next weekend to see everyone one more time before she leaves (she'd have to be in Japan by the 19th or 20th of this month, so she hasn't got much time at all) and said she'll come to pick me up so I can go too. how nice of her ^^ We'll have to throw her a party. I'll get her to think of some things in Madison she's never done or would really like to do before she goes, and we'll make that all happen :)

I called my oldest brother and started talking to him again. He gave me a nice pep talk like he always does (and it still gets me going) and re-extended the invitation for me to go to Seattle and stay with him a while, and look for a job. I still have to research plane tickets and decide when exactly I would go, but that sounds much better than staying home with my parents, really.

A really good job got posted at Nintendo again, something right up my alley. You know, the more I think about it, the more I would absolutely love to work there. I've been playing their games since I was five years old, been watching people play them as far back as my memory goes, and I grew up with one in my house, and even got this scar on my face because I was jumping over controller cords so my brothers wouldn't have to pause the game while I tried to get out of the room and got scratched on a nail protruding from the wall. ^^;;

My question is, would I be able to work there right away or would I have to do a semi-shit job for a couple of years to get experience before they would hire me? The requirements almost point to the long way, but I think as long as I got my JLPT certification, they might consider it. ^^

I have to go finish baking the melon-pan. I may even put up pictures depending on how well it turns out.

JLPT +

I just signed up for the Japanese Language Proficiency Exam, level 1. I figure if I get serious enough about studying kanji from right now until the test day I shouldn't have much of a problem because I'm mostly all right on grammar and listening. I think I'll buy a book to help me study, though, because I have no idea what I'm in for. All I remember from the practice questions at Nanzan is that the kanji part was pretty tough, and I was bad at guessing.

My main beef is that you can only change your test site until October 5, and I'm trying to decide whether I should go to my brother's house to look for a job in Seattle and take the test there, or stay at my parents' house and wait until December to take it in Chicago. Right now I'm slated for Chicago.

...I really should have just taken it last year. Sarah knew what the hell she was doing.

A new job got posted on Nintendo's website for a localization expert. I'm by no means an expert, but translating games for them would KICK ASS. Maybe I can convince them to let me have an interview? :)

I've been home by myself for about three days now, and have been driven to extreme activities like cooking all day while watching crappy movies on TV. Yay for tomato feta spinach pizza, chocolate raspberry cake, spaghetti with meatballs and oyakodon. I DID go shopping for nice interview clothes at Kohls today, but unfortunately did not come across any that were both nice looking AND affordable. All the cute stuff was expensive or didn't fit right, and the stuff I'd be able to afford that I fit decently into made me look like I should be 40. I also went shopping for shoes, but the only ones I found that I liked/fit me/were decently priced were too casual for an interview. ;_; I ordered some shoes online yesterday, and hopefully with their overnight shipping that means they'll be here tomorrow or Tuesday. Something tells me I might be returning them because I'm fairly hard to fit and heels are REALLY hard to shop for when you're looking for them to be comfortable for all day, but I still have my fingers crossed :) I may have to have my mother take me on a shoe store tour when she gets home. I also need some sandals because the PVC flip-flops are destroying my feet...I need something with more support. Maybe I'll find a good deal on some because it's the end of the summer.

Plans for tomorrow are as follows:
- Exercise, either on the treadmill (if I clean it off...my mom has a big pile of sewing crap on it now) or outside because it's supposed to be really nice
- design/pattern out the skirt that I just thought of making today :)
- update resume to include volunteer interpreting work
- write a cover letter for the Nintendo job
- write a letter back to Kisa

maybe more, but I think that's enough to shoot for in one day.
おやすみ。

eau claire

Yesterday I woke up at 6 AM and got in a tightly packed car to drive my youngest sister to Eau Claire. From now on for the next four years or so, that's where she'll be living and going to school. We passed cabbage fields on the way there, and a truck that had dropped a few cabbages in the road...we had to swerve around those. That was the most excitement on the car ride there, except maybe going and buying sausage at this little store on the way. Yay for free homemade root beer and good sausage.

After driving for 3 1/2 hours and arriving in Eau Claire, we had to wait until 2 for Kelly to move in, so we went straight to my other sister Molly's house where she's living with four other girls and Petey, a puppy. We dropped some things off there and locked down their wireless network so that their neighbors wouldn't steal their internet anymore :/ It looks like things have gotten better with her living situation since I last heard about it - she's gotten used to the dog and the dog is used to being there = it's not upset and chewing everything up, and apparently it's only one roommate in particular that's causing everyone grief, and it's not the one with the dog. I didn't actually get to meet said roommate, but since her room is twice as big as everyone else's with its own bathroom and is paying the same amount of rent, this girl could just be a giant brat who refused to have the smaller rooms. Speaking of rooms, Molly's was really quite small, but she's making the most of the space, and the ceiling has an interesting shape :) I'd have liked it. Better than my hallway of a room in Madison this past year. o_o;; One of the girls in the house works at the mall and gets all the store ads when they change them, so they have Abercrombie & Fitch and Express and American Eagle ads all over their house, including one of some guy sitting in a chair, which they originally had at the bottom of the stairs in a dark corner, making it look like there was always a strange man sitting there in the dark. That creeped them out one too many times, so he's the official greeter at the front door when Petey's not around. :)

For lunch, we went to the pub where my sister works. Around here we make lots of cheese, and have something called cheese curds, little bits of freshly made cheese. Restaurants generally bread and deep-fry them and serve them as an appetizer. My sister and the waitress recommended them, so we decided to try it. 15 minutes later, the waitress comes out with deep fried BLOCKS of cheese about 1 1/2" cubed, about 3 times the size of normal cheese curds. They were nicely fried, but I think those are going to stay with me for a while o_0;; Molly told us how they were made, and how they go through two giant wheels of cheese on a busy day making these things. We also had hamburgers, which were also really really good. Hard to finish after those cheese curds, though.

After that, we went to move Kelly into the dorms. No sooner had we parked the car than 10 volunteer move-in helpers (called Hallraisers, basically like Badger Buddies in Madison) came right up to the trunk of the van and offered to carry things up! I only carried a couple of things, and we had the car unloaded and the stuff outside her room in 5 minutes. We spent about 1 1/2 hours setting up her room with Kelly's roommate, who was there alone (her parents just kind of got her stuff in the room and left her there) seemed pretty overwhelmed with four extra people in the room helping set everything up. Then we shopped for groceries while Kelly set up more things in her room. We got her groceries back, said goodbye and then brought Molly back to her house, and finally got on the road at 6 PM. We got home at 9 and I bummed around and watched TV with my parents and took a bath.

I woke up around 10:00 and haven't done much except cook myself breakfast. I need to make a schedule of things to do next week (my parents are going on vacation and leaving me here ;_;) so I don't end up sitting around forever. I need to make my life go somewhere, after all, and nobody ever got anything done by sitting on a couch :) I'm going to get groceries with my dad soon, and maybe go ride my bike or take a walk. またね！

P.S. Every time I log into mixi.jp there's a new diet program! Honestly, most Japanese people have absolutely no need to go on a soy milk cookie diet, or a strawberry yogurt diet, or any diet. I think this is one example of borrowed Western culture that makes absolutely no sense and it's really annoying logging in every time and seeing how you can lose 10 pounds in 9 days if you just click here and eat this one thing. You're losing weight there because you're underfed and fighting with malnutrition. Maybe if they stopped wearing shoes that are horrible for your feet and companies stopped working them so hard, they wouldn't feel so unhealthy and fat. Then they'd also feel like having babies, maybe, and isn't that what Japan wants so badly right now? Little children to take care of the old people so they don't have to 'stoop to' hiring nurses from Brazil and Southeast Asia?

I'm blowing this all out of proportion here, I think. Diet programs are probably not fucking up much except for really stupid Japanese girls. But I always get this angry thinking about politics and society, whether about America or Japan, and it makes me feel like whipping the country into shape, no matter how impossible it is. The government will always have liars and cheaters in its midst that will exploit the public for personal gain, and when confronted they will defend their hypocritical actions to the death. What really gets me is that they usually still can get away with it.

And on that note, I'm off to start my day.

starting again

I realize just how much I miss having a place to write down what happens to me and how I think. Especially now that I'm in the post-college stage of my life, away from everyone I know except my family (which will be down to just my parents tomorrow after my youngest sister moves away to her new dorm, and my parents are both pretty busy), I'll have a lot more time to think about myself.

Though I have to admit, having a boyfriend and friends you can hang out with every day is pretty nice.

Now being alone after being with them all this time, I realize that I almost never do things for myself anymore. If someone else wants me to do something I feel motivation to do it, but if it's just because I think I should do it, I don't. It's like I think I need someone else's approval before I can do anything...and I'm past the stage in my life where that's going to work for me. If I don't start trying things for myself, I'm never going to get anywhere.

Time to grow up. Time to do things just because I think I'll be better for it.

and this blog, in case you were curious, is named after a favorite drink of mine. It's special tea ceremony tea = maccha (powdered and usually bitter all on its own), mixed with milk and sometimes sugar is added. The picture to the left is maccha milk pudding but it still looked good enough to put up :)