a glimmer of hope

I'm finally getting somewhere with this ball of emotion that I've been carrying for so long inside. It was like a big mess of tangled yarn. I've finally untangled the knots and started rolling it up in a nice organized ball, with a little help from Ty.

I've decided to try to get a job in Madison, and it will not necessarily be a translating job, but if it isn't, I can still translate in my free time. My goal at this point is to get something that will LEAD to a translating job because I can't get past the preliminary stages of job hunting with translation jobs. If it's at a Japanese company, that would be good too.

I've just gotten back from a fairly long visit to Madison, and it really gave me a boost. Last Saturday, right after my class finished, Ty picked me up and we drove to Madison. It took longer than normal because of the snow. I saw more cars stuck in the ditches than I ever have in one trip in my life. It almost happened to us, actually, but luckily there was nobody behind us to crash into, and all we did was end up spinning 180 degrees onto the shoulder, and a police car came up to keep the incoming traffic far enough away for us to turn around and get back on the road. That's not to say I wasn't really scared.

Upon our safe arrival, Ty covered my eyes and brought me into the room, and when I opened them, I saw a little amp and a red bass guitar, with a red paper heart tucked between the strings. It was cute. I can practice any time I want now ^^ I was surprised I was getting it for a present. ^^

Later that night was Evan's party. We were going to walk, but it was VERY cold and far away. We took a bus part of the way, and even though we could have walked just as quickly, it was MUCH warmer. I ran into Helena (a friend of Mami's that I met last year) and she thought Ty and I were brother and sister. Seriously. I only get that from Koreans, you know. I was looking forward to talking with the Japanese TAs, and although Atsuhase (as he is known to some) was very sick and couldn't make it, I spent a lot of time talking with Kawakami-san. I was happy to find that my Japanese isn't completely degenerating. I talked to her about how I was doing with finding a job, and we talked about relationships and the other people in the Japanese department. Apparently she's the only TA that thinks socializing with your students is OK, and that all the other teachers look down on her for it, but she doesn't care, and she says it's because she is, first and foremost, a student herself - she feels she shouldn't miss out on that whole opportunity for friendships just because she's a different kind of student. A while ago I would have never guessed she's the department's black sheep of sorts, but knowing how Japanese people do their thing, I'm glad she's not suppressing things she feels strongly about...because when you leave, you're not going to remember your harmonious work environment, but what you did to make your own life worthwhile. Since that party was at the Japanese House and our good friend Phillips-san lives there, and he was kind enough to stay up for a bit and socialize, we played Rock Band. The vocals are a lot trickier than the guitar, but it was really fun belting out Weezer and spending some time with someone I don't normally get to see. Best party I've been to in a long time.

Sunday was pretty lazy except for grocery shopping with Aki, and while we were in the store we ran into Brock, whom I hadn't seen in ages. He has a job, is thinking about going back to school, and broke up with Mariko but is still living with her because they signed a lease. Oh well. I made cookies too. You'd never think to make cookies out of cake mix, but they're surprisingly good. I had coffee with Molly on Monday and went shopping (for beads...spent $1), did some research for a presentation in my translation theory class, and crashed the spring job fair at the Kohl Center. While I was there, I ran into lots of people I knew and got interviewed for a newspaper. Oops. Thankfully the interviewer was someone I knew ^^

Tuesday was a pretty full day - I went to visit with one of my former professors and was a guest in his class. He teaches modern Japanese literature, and I translated a story by one of the authors he covers, and asked me to come in and read it to his class. I got to talk with him about it a little more in detail and that made me feel even better about it, and one guy in the class suggested I submit it to a magazine if I want to get it published. Maybe I will :) I also found out that Geyer-sensei is going to have a baby (!) Afterward I was going to have lunch with Tracie, but she had forgotten and already brought her lunch to work. She told me to come in anyway to visit, and I had quite a warm welcome and was given things to eat ^^ Maddy's going to Germany for six months! I'm jealous. Tracie wants to move to Oklahoma with her boyfriend (he lives here, but his parents are CRAZY, so I can see why he wants to get away) and go to nursing school...I hope it works out despite her parents not wanting her to go. I was wondering what to do next when Ty calls and says he and Molly want to skip their class, and they came to meet me. We played video games and talked a while, and then while Ty went to tae kwon do, Molly and I rented Stardust and made dinner. Stardust is VERY ridiculous, in a good way. I have never laughed so much watching a fantasy movie.

Yesterday I was supposed to go home, and waited all day to go. I had some avocado toast in there...avocados taste similar to egg yolk, I think. It was good though. I also tried chocolate covered espresso beans, which were better than I expected. After Ty got home and we talked a bit, we decided it would have been really hard for him to drive me home and get back so late (especially on an empty stomach...he'd have been really crabby), so I decided to stay until morning, and we went out on a date instead. Yay for Glass Nickel pizza and beer. I love that place so much. Then we went on a quest for raspberry ginger ale because I remembered drinking pink ginger ale when I was very little and he said they still make it...but it was sold out. :( We got raspberry soda and ginger ale and mixed them instead, and it was fairly close. ^^

I came home this morning and it has just snowed and snowed and snowed all day. Cooper got neutered today too, and he was a little loopy when he came home, but he seems pretty much back to his old self now. Tomorrow I'm going to take a test at the library as a preliminary interview-type thing. Too bad it's going to be horribly cold out...

I just can't believe I'm so lucky. I had a really good time this past week. I love the people I'm surrounded with. I don't know why I get so discouraged sometimes. I just have to remember that I have a lot to be happy about, even if I don't feel like it all the time.

happy 2008だよ

Or so it should be. I have a good number of things to be happy about. I think once I actually get a job or start with school (whichever comes first) I'll feel much better. So I'm going to talk only about the happy things.

I got home from Seattle just fine, and was especially feeling lucky after all the crap that my brother and Jenny had to put up with to get here and back. My suitcases were filled as full as they could go without being too heavy for the plane, and I sent a 17-pound box of crap home. Talk about good packing. I'm happy to be gone from there. My job at the candy store was the best thing about it. Living with my brother was more stressful for everyone involved than I think any of us thought it would be, and I've come to learn that my brother is awful about helping people out. He won't say no because he doesn't want to seem like a jerk, but when you bug him about actually helping you when he said he would, he feels like he's being taken advantage of. Just say no if you can't, and save everyone some freaking trouble and stress, because either way you're going to end up seeming like a jerk. Lesson learned: don't ask him for help. Ever.

Christmas was happy, mostly. I was happy to see my family again, and we did a lot of our traditional activities (except going to church, and my sister put everyone's feelings perfectly - she snapped her fingers, smiled and said 'darn!' in a lightly sarcastic tone :D). I got some awesome presents from Ty and my sisters and my parents.

Cooper is such a troublemaking little dog, and he got into his share of fights with Oscar while they were both here (mostly about food). But he's so warm and fuzzy and affectionate. My favorite thing about him is the way he tilts his head when he hears unfamiliar sounds or isn't sure what something is. It's SO CUTE.

I also like it when he smiles. :) he just got done playing with balloons when this picture was taken. I always thought it was dumb when people get dogs and that's all they ever take pictures of afterward, but they're really like part of the family in that way. I mean everyone takes pictures of their new babies, and puppies are sort of like babies.

I've been on vacation for a little while with Ty in Madison, visiting friends and doing fun things together. It's been really cold so we've been spending time mostly inside, cooking and playing Wii games and watching movies. We did go to a theater to see Sweeney Todd though, and it was amazing. There are lots of good actors, they're all decent singers, the songs can be funny and kind of catchy, and it keeps you interested. Although it's depressing (it is, after all, about a serial killer) it's wonderfully executed (haha, I made a funny...), the best example of this being that it doesn't drag on unnecessarily like a LOT of other movies I've watched lately. It's very concise, tells its story wonderfully, and then gets out of the way, but stays in your head.

Out of all the new video games Ty got for Christmas, the one I like most is Super Mario Galaxy. This is because I have had a special place in my heart for Mario games ever since I was born. My mom used to play them and she's pretty inept with any form of electronics. That's how cool Mario is. It's cute overload, what with all the stars and penguins and the bee suit and themed galaxies. Even the ones that are supposed to be scary are really cute. The scariest part of the game is not always knowing whether you'll be able to walk upside down on stuff or if you're going to fall off or float away into oblivion.

I've also been learning bass guitar, or attempting. Ty has been teaching me a few things. It's not as hard as I thought, at least once you learn the notes you need to play. I can't read music and I'm not good with recognizing notes by ear, but I'm sure if I work at it enough I'll be able to tell what each string is supposed to sound like if it's in tune. I learned to play a couple of Blue Hearts songs (and it was no coincidence that we'd just watched Linda Linda Linda before this). :)

Molly's New Year's Eve party was also really fun, although I had a little too much fun and had to spend the next day recovering. I STILL don't think my stomach is fully recovered. ehehe. Yesterday we threw a ramen party, which was a lot more fun than it sounds because I spent all day cooking the soup and base myself (noodles I KNOW I'd have screwed up so I bought some), and we had a lot of toppings for it. We couldn't find kamaboko so we used chikuwa instead (they're both a type of fish cake), and it reminded me of my host mother and how she used to fill the hole in the chikuwa log with cheese and serve it as part of meals. :) The meal itself was really good, and a success in that we got a lot of our friends to try new foods...like fish cake and miso and seaweed. And they liked it.

Today we go sledding on lunch trays down Bascom Hill after Ty and Molly are done with work. Somehow to me that just embodies the spirit of college. I never actually did it before I graduated, so I better do it now :)