I'm ready.

emotionally ready to go to Seattle, that is. Living with my parents is all fine and good for a while, but I have come to the conclusion that they really don't communicate what they expect from me very well at all. Take yesterday's conversation with my mother. I come downstairs after waking up and getting ready for the day, get the mail, and the first thing my mom asks me is why I didn't wash the dishes. Was I asked to do them? no. She then proceeds to tell me I need to help her out more around the house, and that she has a job and I don't so I should do some more cleaning around here. When I'm confronted in that way and I don't know what to say I revert to dealing with anger how I did as a teenager but holding as much back as I can. Normally I just want to walk away, which pisses her off even more and she assumes I'm avoiding the situation. I'm just trying to keep myself from doing something childish. Unfortunately, walking away is not seen as the adult thing to do in her eyes and she tells me I need to grow up and act like an adult. Usually when I'm alone with the other person's concerns, I can process them objectively, separate them from the anger and come back to talk to them calmly about it. Problem? it takes time. especially when you just throw them at me without sitting me down LIKE AN ADULT and tell me that these things are a concern.

Guess what, mom. If you don't TELL me that's what you want, how am I supposed to know? I'll throw a little quote back at you from when I was a kid: "I'm not a mind reader."

She deals with things like this at work in the same way, just keeps her mouth shut but does she EVER let out her concerns to people who have nothing to do with it. I guess I learned to deal with my problems that way too.

At least where I'm going in a couple of weeks, the people I'm staying with are laying out their expectations for me straightaway before I even get there. I have yet to know what those are, but I'm going to call them over the weekend (when they have time to talk) so that I can know. I'm starting to become more and more thankful and excited.

I think I get this way every time I'm about to move somewhere else: you get really really anxious to leave and move on, and an unfortunate side effect is that you can get really annoyed with the people you're sharing your current place with. Only one exception comes to mind: leaving my host family in Japan. I don't know if they felt the same, but I almost burst into tears after I shook my okaasan and obaachan's hands and walked through airport security.

There are no obese old people.

I've heard all evidence pointing to this, but having it put this way really made me think about it. just something I was thinking about.

I went to visit my grandma and grandpa this past weekend and go to my aunt and uncle's 25th wedding anniversary. Seeing my grandparents and some of my mom's siblings was really fun, but the party was basically all people I didn't know except for a large handful of relatives, and most of the people there were just getting really drunk off shitty beer and acting like idiots. I got pretty good at giving a brief explanation of what was happening to me now and how old I was, and when I told some of them what I studied in school I just got so annoyed sometimes. I guess it's because they tell you what they think they know about Japanese but most people in northern WI haven't the foggiest idea (i.e. Ty's chimmy-chong story). Somehow the term 'Orientals' really pisses me off too (I like 'Asians' better), and that's what they call them (along with most people over 40 who aren't interested in foreign countries, probably leftovers from World War II). I mean I can't blame them, but if they're not even going to be respectful about it or listen to me explain after THEY ask me about it, they should keep their mouths shut. Luckily not all of them were like that, just a few.

It's really interesting, the way you come to see your relatives after you grow up. When you're a kid they're just kind of there while you play with your cousins (at least they were for me; I had so many I didn't get to know them all very well and I only saw them a few days per year), but when you grow up you notice much more what kind of a person they are, and I think I'm more objective and judgmental toward them, which I feel is a bit unfortunate. I feel like losing that innocent attitude is me being unkind, that high-and-mighty-college-educated attitude. Then again, maybe they were that way all along and I just never noticed. It could also be that we just don't know each other well and don't really need to.

Today I went apple picking and running errands with my mom since she had the day off from work. It was hot for picking apples -_-;; We also got five apples on our tree in the backyard! but the birds and the squirrels ate big chunks out of three of them :( so we have two good ones.

exercise time. :)

ぴたテン (Pita-ten)

Finally I've finished both the anime and manga. I'm not sure if manga to anime series conversion is usually like books turned into movies, where generally the book is better than the movie, but I liked the manga MUCH better. The anime was dumbed down quite a bit, leaving out most of the relationship complexities (actually that's what I love most about watching and reading things ^^;; love relationships, and how people get into them) and the entirety of Misha's past. Also, the end was kind of a cop-out...I mean come on, when people disappear in the manga, it's very emotional (due to the relationship complexities) and then they DON'T COME BACK. In the anime the reasons for characters having to go are kind of arbitrary and sudden...and everyone comes back and lives happily ever after in the end anyway. In addition, I felt the anime was much more focused on Misha and Shia, where the manga sticks basically to Kotarou the whole time. (That must be why I always found the manga in the boys' section at Book-Off ^^) Cute girls can sell anything...especially anime.

As far as characters go!
FAVORITE: Koboshi, Sasha, Misha, Nyaa, Ten-chan, Kotarou
My favorites before I read or watched anything were Koboshi and Sasha. Koboshi's role in the anime is basically to squawk at Misha and get pissy, although she has her clever side and she gets her time in the spotlight. But even after her relationship to Kotarou is validated she goes right back to her old self. I like her manga version tons better, especially the way she faces her problems and how things end up for her. I liked Sasha's increased role in the anime and how much more part of the story she seemed to be there, but I still like her either way. ^^ The manga version of Misha shows she has a lot more depth, and despite how annoying she is at first, you really get to like her by the end. and Nyaa! I HATED the cat for the longest time, but the end of the anime really made me change my mind about it. even devil kitties have hearts.

OK: Shia
She doesn't really bring THAT much to the anime at all, although in the manga she's a LOT more important to the story and she's not necessarily the 100% frail, timid girl. She actually does mean shit sometimes. Plus Ten-chan loves her AND ACTUALLY SAYS SO. And when she goes, she goes.

LEAST FAVORITE: Dai-chan, Kaoru
These two basically just scream every time they pop in and are really freaking annoying. They aren't a very pivotal part of the manga either, as far as I remember (I read it over a year ago). I have nothing else to say about them. That's how much attention I paid to them.

So definitely MANGA > ANIME due to the psychological depth, plot, romance and angst of it all. Don't watch it, read it!

cleaning spree

Since it's Saturday and any job hunting I do can't really continue until Monday, I think I'm going to attempt to clean up the house a bit, or at least finish sorting through all the stuff I moved home and make sure my floor is clean. My mom sort of keeps hinting that she'd like me to vacuum the house, so maybe I'll do that. Then I won't feel bad about making her take me interview clothes-shopping :)

Sarah is going to Japan on the 21st, and I'd really like to give her a present. I have some ideas, but I need to sit down and figure out exactly what would be good. We're also probably going to Madison next weekend. If she still hasn't had a Fishbowl I think we should go and get one :) I was curious myself. Maybe go to Maharani too, if we go Friday and get there before the lunch buffet is over :D

I finally finished and got a letter to Kisa all ready to send! I should hop on my bike quick and get it to the mailbox...pickup is in 50 minutes and I missed the pickup at my house >_<;; Otherwise it won't go out until Monday. I miss Kisa ;_; but now Sarah can see her and tell me how she's doing because they'll both be living in Yokohama now~

but that also means Sarah will be very far away ;_; I'll miss her. a lot. I have to find a job soon so I can start making new friends...because being alone really sucks after a few days. Maybe I won't be so lonely after my parents come home...

all right, time to get dressed and take a bike/walk, and then organize my things :)

melon pan, being happy for friends

the past few days have been fairly productive, considering what I'd done the first few days of my 'vacation'. I got my resume online and had a call this morning already, which is pretty exciting, but it doesn't seem like they're going to be that helpful in finding me a job. I have no experience in engineering or finance, and people with those degrees that can also speak Japanese practically have companies banging down their doors. Meanwhile, I'm going to apply for things I may not be that interested in but I would at least be able to do and use Japanese at the same time.

Part of me still thinks I should live in Japan and work for a while, just to get my speaking skills honed again. And now that Sarah actually got a job (as an English teacher, but at a nice-sounding private school in the area she really wants to live and work) it actually feels viable. She called me this morning with the news, and I'm very happy for her! ^^ She wants to go to Madison next weekend to see everyone one more time before she leaves (she'd have to be in Japan by the 19th or 20th of this month, so she hasn't got much time at all) and said she'll come to pick me up so I can go too. how nice of her ^^ We'll have to throw her a party. I'll get her to think of some things in Madison she's never done or would really like to do before she goes, and we'll make that all happen :)

I called my oldest brother and started talking to him again. He gave me a nice pep talk like he always does (and it still gets me going) and re-extended the invitation for me to go to Seattle and stay with him a while, and look for a job. I still have to research plane tickets and decide when exactly I would go, but that sounds much better than staying home with my parents, really.

A really good job got posted at Nintendo again, something right up my alley. You know, the more I think about it, the more I would absolutely love to work there. I've been playing their games since I was five years old, been watching people play them as far back as my memory goes, and I grew up with one in my house, and even got this scar on my face because I was jumping over controller cords so my brothers wouldn't have to pause the game while I tried to get out of the room and got scratched on a nail protruding from the wall. ^^;;

My question is, would I be able to work there right away or would I have to do a semi-shit job for a couple of years to get experience before they would hire me? The requirements almost point to the long way, but I think as long as I got my JLPT certification, they might consider it. ^^

I have to go finish baking the melon-pan. I may even put up pictures depending on how well it turns out.

JLPT +

I just signed up for the Japanese Language Proficiency Exam, level 1. I figure if I get serious enough about studying kanji from right now until the test day I shouldn't have much of a problem because I'm mostly all right on grammar and listening. I think I'll buy a book to help me study, though, because I have no idea what I'm in for. All I remember from the practice questions at Nanzan is that the kanji part was pretty tough, and I was bad at guessing.

My main beef is that you can only change your test site until October 5, and I'm trying to decide whether I should go to my brother's house to look for a job in Seattle and take the test there, or stay at my parents' house and wait until December to take it in Chicago. Right now I'm slated for Chicago.

...I really should have just taken it last year. Sarah knew what the hell she was doing.

A new job got posted on Nintendo's website for a localization expert. I'm by no means an expert, but translating games for them would KICK ASS. Maybe I can convince them to let me have an interview? :)

I've been home by myself for about three days now, and have been driven to extreme activities like cooking all day while watching crappy movies on TV. Yay for tomato feta spinach pizza, chocolate raspberry cake, spaghetti with meatballs and oyakodon. I DID go shopping for nice interview clothes at Kohls today, but unfortunately did not come across any that were both nice looking AND affordable. All the cute stuff was expensive or didn't fit right, and the stuff I'd be able to afford that I fit decently into made me look like I should be 40. I also went shopping for shoes, but the only ones I found that I liked/fit me/were decently priced were too casual for an interview. ;_; I ordered some shoes online yesterday, and hopefully with their overnight shipping that means they'll be here tomorrow or Tuesday. Something tells me I might be returning them because I'm fairly hard to fit and heels are REALLY hard to shop for when you're looking for them to be comfortable for all day, but I still have my fingers crossed :) I may have to have my mother take me on a shoe store tour when she gets home. I also need some sandals because the PVC flip-flops are destroying my feet...I need something with more support. Maybe I'll find a good deal on some because it's the end of the summer.

Plans for tomorrow are as follows:
- Exercise, either on the treadmill (if I clean it off...my mom has a big pile of sewing crap on it now) or outside because it's supposed to be really nice
- design/pattern out the skirt that I just thought of making today :)
- update resume to include volunteer interpreting work
- write a cover letter for the Nintendo job
- write a letter back to Kisa

maybe more, but I think that's enough to shoot for in one day.
おやすみ。